What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Make Nazis afraid again!

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

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Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

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Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

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Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Why do narcissist move on so easily?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

How do you get a girl to like you?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

TEXT:

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

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After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Why does my mother care about my sister more than me?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

I gave him everything. He said he loved me. Why?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Can you share a story of someone who had a lucky experience while hitchhiking?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

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In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

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Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.